Growing through Conflict and Misunderstanding

Being misunderstood and judged is one of my worst fears. I pride myself on being forthright and direct in what I do and say, so when someone misunderstands my motives, I am at a loss.

Not too long ago, I had an amazing experience at church — an ordained moment that surprised and encouraged me. It filled me with such life and hope that it felt as though I were on cloud nine. But soon afterwards, someone approached me and questioned my experience. I was taken aback by her words, and I tried to explain myself while holding back tears.

Though her intentions weren’t meant to offend me, her words still hurt, affecting different areas of my life, my thoughts, and my emotions. We prayed together over the situation and over my heart, and I was grateful for those prayers.

When conflict and misunderstandings come my way, I need all the help I can get. Usually when it happens, I tend to over-tell my side of the story so the other person could hopefully know where I’m coming from. And once the shock of being misunderstood wears off, I become angry — angry for having my motives questioned, angry at the whole situation. But that experience and in the days following it, the Holy Spirit reminded me of this truth:

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
James 1:19-20 (ESV)


To read the rest, join me over at Incourage!

Crisis and Community


A few weeks ago, the unthinkable happened. My good friends from my church, Autumn and Ben, lost their little girl, Addisyn, in a horrific car accident and their other daughter, Ashtyn, sustained significant injuries. Addisyn had an immense love for God and love for people. She had a heart to serve and to tell the world about Jesus — she radiated pure joy!

Who is ever prepared for their child to die? On top of that, who is ever prepared for all of the responsibilities and decisions that come along with the loss of a loved one?

I went to the hospital to visit the family, and they were surprisingly in good spirits. I hugged Autumn and told her I loved her. I didn’t have any other words to say, and it’s ok I didn’t. Ashtyn was being showered with gifts and candy galore by her dad’s fellow sheriff officers. There was such an outpouring of love and generosity, and it was a beautiful sight to see.

I’ve lost my fair share of people, and I have walked with dear friends who have lost loved ones. It never gets easier. I’m a fixer by nature, but loss is simply not something you can fix. I’ve learned that though words might be few, there are some things we can do to mourn those who mourn.


To read the rest, join me over at Incourage!

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