Hope is supposed to feel good, at least that’s what I’ve always thought. It should make me feel all warm and fuzzy, right? As of recent days, hope has not been a good feeling.
Over the summer, I was on a retreat with many of my amazing sisters here at (in)courage and a discussion arose with a few of them over lunch. We all seemed to be in some sort of transition dealing with housing. There were prayer requests surrounding selling houses and buying houses and what to do when you find your dream house and it falls through. Someone said, “Hope is dangerous.” That just about knocked me over! I haven’t been able to shake that thought. It is! Hope is completely dangerous! Somehow, I think God likes it that way.
There is often a misconception that whenever we commit our lives to Christ, all of our problems disappear. I am the poster child for the opposite. My problems didn’t disappear. Sometimes they were worse. I, too, am in a housing transition. I am wading my way through options of whether to stay or go. I have no direction, no peace either way. I’ve never been in this position before. Normally, I have some sort of leaning toward one option or another. I begin to move forward and God either opens doors or He closes them. This time . . . nothing. I’m at a loss!
I have been in the position before of having none of my options work out for me. I’ve been in situations where it seemed as though the Lord completely forgot about me. I have been hurt and confused and even angry at God. Those are not enjoyable emotions either.
So, here I am again. My circumstances may come as a surprise to me but they are not a surprise to God. But, I want this time to be different. I want my faith stirred up despite past let downs. I want to focus on His past faithfulness to me. I want to use wisdom and do what I can do.
Mostly, I want to lean into this dangerous hope and . . .
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